out on a limb

funny how the above photo represents the way i go about in life. however i'm starting to believe that this isn't the most greatest way to live your life.

if you don't believe you can't do it, then chances are you won't get what you want. in my case, i believe that if i expect too much, i'd jinx it in some way or another and in the end up being doubly disappointed. seriously, it happens to me all the time. most of the time anyway.

have you ever put your hopes up, put yourself out there and stand on a limb, only to get crushed like a cattepillar not long after?

i seriously admire those that do that every day. those in customer service specially. i know how mean and difficult people can be, but yet there are those (not all, mind you) who can still emerge at the end of the day with a smile on their faces. either they don't let it get to them, or they're really good at masking their feelings. i probably need to work on my acting skills.

ok i think i'm straying from the topic. anyway, the past couple of months i tried moving out of my comfort zone. tried, anyway. i physically didn't fit what they were looking for. i've always wanted to try out, but thought i wasn't good enough to try out in the first place. but my first ever try was a positive one (i thank God for that). i managed to pass the rounds til the end. but i guess i was either too old compared to the other candidates or wrongly qualified, haha. oh well. and as usual i didn't put my hopes up that high. i didn't want to be sorely disappointed.

some of the few i tried for: (don't laugh. seriously, don't. at least i brought home with me the experience)


my third try was for a foreign company. i was kinda happy i was among the 50ish people shortlisted, however i still needed the arms of an ape to get in (but oh my, the benefits you get if you get in are soOoOoOOOOoO tdf!!!).

my second and fourth try was for the very same company. the thing about interviewers these days which i hate, are that they seem to think they're the one with the upper hand just because they're the ones interviewing, and not the one being interviewed. if given the choice, i would've just skipped the whole tedious process and hire people based on their enthusiasm (although i don't think this would go well with most managements haha). hello, we're putting ourselves on a limb here, could you at least try to be nice?

most of the faces i came across the second time were also present previously, with one girl actually trying thrice and getting rejected all three times. gosh it's a wonder her spirit still hasn't broken (gah you got to hate that saying, if at first you don't succeed, just pick yourself up and try again ahaha). another girl, also present both times, came the second time in a more sexier outfit, possibly with the hopes of physically woo-ing the judges? hehe.

so the thing with this company is, looks ARE everything. don't even bother coming without any traces of fat on you. i seriously don't think they care what's on your resume. apparently they're into the big bosom type, the curvier the better. one of the questions i got was whether i was serious in applying. erm he-lo, if i wasn't, i wouldn't have endured your whole selection process which includes an initial minimum wait of 2-hours, ok? and you'd think one was dead serious about applying even after attending 3 times, like the girl i previously mentioned, no? (btw, me also kagum with her spirit, i keep asking myself... after so many tries and not giving up, when do you know that it's time for you to really give up?).

irony of everything was, they've been searching for goodness-knows-what for the past 4 months. i'm not kidding. i don't think they even know who and what they're looking for.

you have training, don't you not? it seems like you're looking for people who were already born to do this. er, good luck with that.

my feedback was i was too thin for the job, naturally. i don't gain weight easily. i'm not the type of person that gains weight for just binging out on a slice of pizza. i can pig out and still look eighteen. at least one thing i realized, by the time you 'pretty people' turn 40, you'll start to look like your mamas, and there i'd be, pushing 40 yet still sporting the age of 30 =P.

unfortunately, that's what a majority of the population do these days: they judge people by their looks. pffft. to begin with, half of them who're already in the business doesn't seem to have the proper attitude, seriously. i've met a couple of those already in the service looking for a change, and they didn't seem to 'fit the bill' (or rather, they're the ones with great acting skills surpassing the veterans). some even seemed abit 'snotty' (sorry, but that's the feeling that i get just trying to make conversation with them).

no, i didn't put too high hopes when applying for any of them, especially with my so-called luck. 4 tries was a great big deal of disappointment, really. getting myself into something different from my current lifestyle was what kept pushing me to try. i kept trying mainly because i wasn't satisfied i couldn't get it, rather than actually wanting it to death (of course, who doesn't want to get it, if i did, who knows? =P). it's in my blood, though. although mom has never encouraged.

but seriously, i'd reward you rm1k if you can find a way to make me gain and maintain 6 kilos to my weight. and please don't suggest strapping me with rocks or babies. i've been hearing so many jokes about my weight it isn't even funny anymore.

p/s. sorry for such a complicated post. i am hungry but i need to spend time at the bank during lunch hour. happy first-day-back-at-work, people!

p/p/s. this post is only in my point of view with no intention of dissing any particular party.