September 30, 2008

salam aidilfitri

"pa bila Syawal menjelma, Hari Raya disambut dengan gumbira" lalala~

wishing everyone a Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir & batin =)

this will be my first year celebrating Aidilfitri as a wife and a mommy, whee~ (although i won't be able to enjoy stuffing my face with all the yummies this year as i have yet to complete my confinement period, sob)

anyway, drive safely to those that planning to balik kampung this year, and have a gr8 holiday!


September 29, 2008

tummy time + milestone

yesterday during tummy time, Dayana managed to turn her head from side to side... twice(!) much to the amusement of me and Daddy. and amidst crying in frustration she also managed to push herself from lying flat on her stomach to lying on her side. tee hee~ unfair. Daddy gets all the action!

Dayana's almost a month old now. how fast time flies! (and how fast half of my maternity leave has flown out the window) she sleeps at the odd hours now that she spends more time awake than asleep as opposed to the first 2 weeks where she slept 4 to 5 hours at a time. i remember my friend telling me, when she sleeps too much you'll be wondering bile la she mau bangun, and when she's awake for a long period of time you'll be wondering bile la she mau tdo, haha (and that is soooo true). she doesn't like to be left alone although after a feed she doesn't mind being put down for a while. she hiccups alot too, lol. Dayana likes being carried around, mainly so she can get a better view of her surroundings. she hasn't taken a liking to bath time yet though =( (she prefers a sponge bath than the tub). sometimes if you're lucky she'll give u the occasional lopsided smile. i have yet to catch it on camera. i remember one day during bathtime, after all that wailing and crying, she flashed me a cheeky grin. the nerve! after 4 weeks she still looks like she's swimming in her newborn outfits. even her mitten and booties seem a bit oversized. one wave of her tiny hand and off comes her mittens -.-

Dayana received a bunch of visitors during the first four weeks (thanks so much for coming to visit peeps! xoxo). she even received her first Duit Raya the other day, from one of our neighbors. hehe.

raya's coming up! wishing all my friends and family a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin! =)

[i went through my shoe collection recently. seems like my stash in Shah Alam seems more huge than in Bangi. omfg]

September 27, 2008

a reminder to myself

a little reminder to myself before i forget what i need:
--- mom's precious cooler bag set (bag + 6 bottles + 3 icepacks) bought
--- food grinder (momslittleones) bought, and regretted
--- littlepods baby sling (babyjaya) bought
--- nursing cover bought
--- nursing pillow
--- Avent 4oz feeding bottles (3 pack) bought 2 boxes of this
--- diapers & wipes (neverending story)
--- nursing bra 2-set (fabulousmom)
--- bottle dryer rack (babyjaya) bought

other unnecessary things, but i'd like to list them here anyway =P
--- this cute empire waist tube from TopShop that iza was rambling about in her blog
--- this nice comfortable pair of covered shoes from Larrie i saw in a newspaper ad
--- this stylish pair of heels i seemed to like a couple of months ago but never bought
--- the new Sony's Skinny-T in pink!!! (i hate newspapers. they advertise too much)

September 19, 2008

Merdeka comes early

this is actually a very delayed post, really. about the events that lead up to the birth of Dayana. i can't really call the exact details but here's more or less what happened:

6 days to delivery:
after consulting my Gynae during one of our scheduled visits, and with the baby's current position and all, we decided to go for a C-section. the Dr. suggested 31st August for the day of the operation. at that time i was fine with it, and Significant Other was elated. frankly i hadn't even begun to think about the delivery and the actual process of giving birth to the little one that's been inside me for the past 9 months. i was sort of procrastinating, instead choosing to enjoy the remainder of my third trimester and preparing for the baby.

but we did get a few objections, mainly from the family. most of them were adamant that i tried giving birth normally first before deciding on having the c-section. according to the Dr., if you choose to deliver via elective c-section, the price you'd be paying would not be as high as you would have to pay if you decide to try for a normal delivery at first and end up giving birth via c-section. normal delivery of course, would be the cheapest option if you were capable of doing so =P. arguments i got included the possibility of delivering a second time also via c-section (even though i did read that there were instances of vaginal birth after delivery), how expensive the operation was going to be, and how it would effect my body in the long run.

which was true, after mulling about it for a while. i even went to get a second opinion from another Gynae at Sg Buloh. he also said that it was wise to try for normal delivery first before deciding on a c-section. Significant Other was in a bind because he had already planned out his paternity leave (cheese. his leave arrangement is more important than life or death? =P). i even called up my Gynae to confirm if it was necessary to go ahead with the c-section or not. Significant Other even insisted on a third opinion. after alot of arguing and thinking and pondering, two days before the scheduled we decided to cancel our planned c-section and wait out our baby's delivery.

1 day to delivery:
so on Saturday we decided to assemble the baby crib that my mil bought for us. most of the baby stuff had been bought and the clothes been prewashed. as we were assembling the crib in the lounge area i started to feel the sensations of false contractions, a menstrual cramp-like feeling. i had felt something like this before sometime last week and it turned out to be nothing, so i just ignored it and went on with the crib-assembling process with Significant Other. the sensations came and go, although not as frequent as it would have been if i were already in labor so i didn't give it much thought. we even went for dinner at Muhibbah at Taman Tun with my mil, Amal and Nor (a belated birthday dinner for Significant Other and Nor). at that time i was already starting to get the cramps more frequently. yet i was still determined to have my dinner first (i haven't been to Muhibbah in a long time, okay =P) but i ended up not eating much. my mil took one look at me and mentioned that it wouldn't be long now until that baby pops out.

heck, after dinner i even had Significant Other stop by the bank in Uptown so that i could pay my credit card bill (or was it to deposit cash into our account? i can't remember). at home i just laid on the bed, too tired to do anything, but too unsettled to try to get some sleep, either. Significant Other insisted on bringing me to the hospital, but i refused. if i get admitted early i'd have to wait it out at the hospital. i read somewhere that it's better to wait until contractions were about 5 minutes apart before you go rushing off to the hospital, so that's what i did. i started counting. and so far they were about 20 minutes apart, more or less. so Significant Other decided to shower first and just let him know if i wanted to go to the hospital. my hospital bag had already been packed (with absolute junk i tell you, now that i think about it). i decided to read up on delivery from the book we purchased at MPH by Miriam Stoppard. not bad a book, i tell you.

midnight, 31st August 2008
happy Merdeka! contractions kept on coming in waves, but i was still stubborn and refused to go to the hospital. by this time contractions were getting closer apart, but it was still too early to go. i had been trying to get some sleep in order to ignore the pain, but failed miserably. after checking to see that the video camera was fully charged and ready to go, Significant Other decided to go to bed first and wake him up when it was time to go. i wondered if they would allow bringing in a video camera into the delivery room. went to toilet to empty my bladder; the cramps and the stomach ache were already starting to seem more or less the same. by this time, contractions were 10 minutes apart, which lasted for about a minute (or was it longer? i forgot).

2.30am, 31st August 2008
when the time came that when lying down and standing up and walking had absolutely no effect on helping ease the pain of contractions i decided i had enough of this contraction thingy and woke Significant Other up. by this time contractions were 5 minutes apart and they were coming in tidal waves and were really really painful. huargh. since the hospital was only 5 minutes away and it was in the dead of the night, we didn't have parking hassle as opposed to during daytime and got there pretty quick.

2.45am, 31st August 2008
was brought up in a wheelchair up to this room where i was told to lie down while the nurse strapped two thingys onto me which were connected to a machine; one to monitor the baby's heartbeat, the other to monitor my contractions (i think lah. or maybe i kelentong you guys. at that moment in time i had no idea what those thingos were for). Significant Other held my hand while the contractions came and went. horrible, i tell you. i think that's the least favorite part of the baby making process - contractions! then the nurse disappeared for abit. i didn't even know what i was waiting for. Significant Other contacted his mom, dad, and also tried to contact my parents, luckily my brother was still awake so he answered the house phone. they would be coming in the morning.

anyway, after coming back to check on machine activity, the nurse instructed me to change into a hospital gown. she checked down there to see how really far along i was in labor. jergh. this is another thing i dislike. having to be poked and prodded down there. not fun, okay! at this time things were already starting to be a blur because not long after that i was back in the wheelchair and being wheeled into the labor room.

x.xxam, 31 August 2008
two nurses were attending me in the wee hours of the morning, prepping me up for labor. by this time i had already felt the urge to push, and you can't imagine all the things running through my head at the time. and the Dr. wasn't even there yet! Significant Other pulak disappeared to get the video camera. of all times to go missing. hahahah. the nurse prepped me into delivery position, with me holding on to my ankles. the nurse also handed me gas for pain relief, only to be inhaled whenever the pain comes. frankly, i didn't even know what effect it had on me, i still felt all those pains and whatsoever. it didn't even occur to me to ask for anything else, since this was my first time experiencing this and i had no idea what they expected of you.

if you were thinking that you might be embarassing yourself, think again. they've seen a million of women giving birth before you so they've seen it all and couldn't be bothered. haha.

out of nowhere my Gynae popped into the labor room. wah, i had thought that there would be someone else to deliver the baby since it's in the middle of the morning or something. but thank goodness she there. Significant Other was back by my side too, with one hand holding the video camera and the other patting me on my arm, trying his best to console me. haha. the Dr. broke my waters, at least i think she did, i just felt as if a bucket of water just gushed out from me. i had no idea what was going on down there. Significant Other managed to get everything on tape, but i don't think i really wanna watch it *shudders*. i was already in a huge amount of pain that i just wanted my baby to pop out A.S.A.P. and for everything to be done for.

by this time my brain was starting to filter out only the necessary commands from the nurses and the Dr.: when to push and what i should be doing to get the baby out (i think i failed miserably at my first attempt at delivery! i really wished i had enrolled in an antenatal class. DEMC was already fully booked when i enquired about it, and the next one would be held after my delivery date, cheese). heck, i didn't even know how to push properly. i was holding my breath in my mouth while pushing, i must've looked like a frog. then the nurse told me to hold my breath in my chest so that i wouldn't tire myself out too fast. they kept coaxing me to push harder and inhale gas whenever the pain became unbearable. at one point i was already starting to give up when the Dr. told me that the baby's head was through, just a few more pushes and everything would be over. sakitttt sakittttt sakitttt was mostly going through my mind at this point. saiko =P

seriously, giving birth feels like as if you're going to toilet. i didn't know if i was doing the right thing at the time.

4.22am, 31st August 2008
i felt as if something just slipped out of me, and i immediately i felt some sort of lightness... my daughter was born =) what a relieve it was!

i was allowed to suckle my baby for a bit before she was whisked away to be cleaned up. it didn't register into my brain at that time that i was now a Mommy. i didn't like being stitched up though. after being cleaned up and all i was wheeled back to a room they had ready for me, shared with another. i was sooo tired after everything that happened, i could finally get some well-earned sleep. later in the afternoon i was upgraded to a single bedroom, where i could have more privacy.

and it was that very day that we revealed her name for the first time to the world. lol.

well, that's my delivery story.

thank you very much to the aunties and uncles, friends and family that came to visit me and my Merdeka Baby in the hospital! and thanks for all the lovely presents! i heart berry much =*>.

p/s. i browsed through my previous entries and i'm appalled that i didn't even mention about my weight gain during the whole pregnancy. i started this blog with the intention of being detached each time i wrote my entries, as in not making it seem too personal. but i guess personal is more fun to read than stick-in-the-mud boring =P. anyway, just a note to meself, i started out weighing at about 38kg (i was very light back then, and as of February 2009, i'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight - maybe even lesser than that, lol). i weighed about 52.5kg in the few weeks before i delivered my daughter, so i guess that's good weight gain progress, don't you think? i just wished i could have retained some of it though. some people say that you'll expand abit after you deliver your first child. too bad that doesn't apply to me =(

September 11, 2008

the 4th anniversary

today marks Our 'dating' anniversary. 11th September 2004.
(the day the World Trade Centre was hit in the States =P how ironic)
it's been 4 years now. and despite everything, i still love him very, very much.

us then... [2004]

[August 2008, at 9 months pregnant]

[our adorable adition to the family]

September 9, 2008

my Merdeka Baby

my Angel, Dayana Nur Sabrina.
date August 31st, time 0422 hours. weight 2.4 kg. length 47cm.
her name carries the meaning 'kegagahan dan cahaya kesabaran'.

i decided to cancel my planned c-sec and wait it out until her EDD of 13 September.
but i guess she had plans of her own and wanted to make her own mark in this world.
... a Merdeka baby.
and Daddy got what he wanted =)

p/s. Mommy and Daddy calls her Dayana and we would appreciate it if everyone else does as well as to not cause confusion to her later on...