i brought my dot to the library the other day. Significant Other wanted to study and thought it was a good idea to expose her to books at a young age. there was a children's section in the library where she and i could hang out while he studied for his upcoming exam.
i'm not sure if it's the very same library that me and Nedd used to go to when we were younger. my aunt would always take the trouble to drop us at the library a couple of times a week during school holidays just to make sure we were utilizing our time productively. we had to go for gruelling tuition as well. one class that i was grateful for attending was our Accounts class. from failing in Form 4, to passing with an A1 in Form 5. it was a plus that the tutor was cute =P.
anyway, it wasn't Dayana's best first time experience at the library, for one thing she fell asleep as soon as we pulled into the parking lot (she was due for her afternoon nap anyway) and she woke up not long after that in the library still looking abit sleep-deprived (which also leads to crankiness more often than not). then she took off her sandals and demanded to wear my Skechers in the library. and she threw a tantrum on the floor when i didn't allow it T_T (sungguh malu ok. the whole library could hear her scream her lungs out).
i had to drag her into the children's section (luckily it was separated by a glass door, so her screaming wouldn't carry into the main section of the library) and forced her into one corner of the library until she calmed down. she was already in tersedu-sedu mode, tsk. and she still wanted to wear my shoes. luckily the library was carpeted.
i started handing her some books for her to read but i guess even the junior section was still too advanced for her, the books had less pictures and more words so she wasn't remotely interested in flipping through the books. instead, she was more interested in picking out book by book and making a mess on the floor. and each time i got a book for myself to read, she'll pick the book right out of my hands. kemut betul budak ni. ajak her read with me tak mau. kasi mommy diye read pun tak mau jugak. tsk.
it was lucky i packed her sweater in her Barney bag, it was really cold in the library. unfortunate that i didn't bring mine though, and the car keys were with Significant Other. we weren't allowed to bring bags into the library, so her diaper change and whatnot were all in the car =(. and she decided to poop in the library. sigh (they say if your baby poops at one place, she'll have the tendency to visit the same place again. is that a good thing that she pooped in the library then? O_o).
i noticed she was more interested in playing with the other kids in the library than checking out the books. problem is, most of the kids were much older than her (they seemed to appreciate the books in the library more) and there weren't any kids her age around. they even hung out in groups so they seemed abit skeptic when Dayana ran over barefooted and tried to join them (i observed at a far distance. i was still frazzled with the earlier incident and was further coming down with a cold due to the chilly atmosphere).
i salute her determination at trying to befriend those kids. she even ran back to me excitedly just to take her Barney bag to show it to the others. she clambered over the sofas set in a cirlce to proudly introduce 'Marnee' to them. some of the kids were quite friendly to her at first but it was obvious because of the age gap she didn't quite 'click' with the rest. i even heard one of them say 'diye datang sendiri' (sort of like Dayana kinda intruded on them lah). i felt abit sad when i heard that.
Dayana was also kinda smelly due to her diaper (i didn't like the library facilities, there wasn't enough space in the toilets to change a diaper even) so each time she climbed over the sofa to join them, she'll eventually be placed back out again. i was just relieved she didn't seem to be put out by this, instead running back and forth handing books to me like nothing was wrong.
it was abit heartbreaking to watch when the kids were about to leave the library, Dayana tried to follow them out with a book in her hand and her Barney bag slinged around her neck like she always does. again i had to deal with another round of protests and screaming as i stopped her from following the other kids out of the library. huhu.
i tried another attempt at getting her to be interested in the books there, but she was simply more interested in trying to play with the other kids. at one point she even managed to get an older kid off her chair so that she could sit (yeah she likes to do that, dengki betul). finally at one point she burst into tears and came crying to me insistent on me following her when Significant Other finally wrapped up his studying and came to meet us. boy, was i RELIEVED.
and while we were on our way out she decided once again that she wanted to walk out of the library wearing MY SHOES. arrrggghhhhh. boy was she pissed when i told her NO.
i think she's too young to appreciate the library yet. she needs to hang out and mix with kids her own age. which is why i need to find a good nursery / daycare center somewhere within my area. anybody with suggestions? hanging out with the maid for the whole day isn't doing her much justice either. i'm thankful for the babywearing meetups where she gets to meet up with kids her age (while the Mommies get to chill with people their own age, haha).
i actually disliked the feeling i felt when i saw how the older kids were with Dayana. true, they're just kids, but i can't help but feel like wanting to protect Dayana from all the negative feelings that exist in our world (it probably would've been better if she didn't decide to poop then and there too lol).
but i can't do that, can i? she needs to learn. she needs to know how to be independent. she needs to grow. and i can't always be there protecting her from every single bad thing. i can only protect her to a certain extent, and give her space to be her own person. on another note, i also need to teach her how to share. she's even kedekut with my cat Rusty ok. she doesn't allow him to sit on her green rocking chair even when she's not sitting in it. tsk.
bah. i hate being a mother sometimes. i can just forsee myself being an overprotective mother in the near future. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee...